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Quick answer: If you liked If He Had Been with Me, read The Fault in Our Stars, Eleanor & Park, Looking for Alaska and All the Bright Places. All are emotional teen love stories about grief, friendship and what we wish we had said.
Laura Nowlin's 2010 novel follows Autumn and Finny, childhood friends who drift apart and fall in love too late, with a tragedy at its heart. It is sad, honest and romantic. The books below offer similar heartfelt young adult stories about first love, loss and regret.
Table of Contents
Quick Picks at a Glance
| Book | Author | Ages | Best For |
|---|---|---|---|
| The Fault in Our Stars | John Green | Teen | love and illness |
| Eleanor & Park | Rainbow Rowell | Teen | first love in the 80s |
| Looking for Alaska | John Green | Teen | grief and friendship |
| All the Bright Places | Jennifer Niven | Teen | love and depression |
| If I Stay | Gayle Forman | Teen | choice after a crash |
| Where She Went | Gayle Forman | Teen | the sequel |
| Everything, Everything | Nicola Yoon | Teen | sheltered love |
| The Sun Is Also a Star | Nicola Yoon | Teen | one day in New York |
| Forever | Judy Blume | Teen | first time |
| A Walk to Remember | Nicholas Sparks | Teen | sweet tragic romance |
| Hold Still | Nina LaCour | Teen | grief after suicide |
| Thirteen Reasons Why | Jay Asher | Teen | tapes and suicide |
| Speak | Laurie Halse Anderson | Teen | silence after trauma |
| Just One Day | Gayle Forman | Teen | a day in Paris |
| Fangirl | Rainbow Rowell | Teen | college romance |
1. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
Two teens with cancer fall in love. Funny and heartbreaking.
Best for: love and illness.
2. Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell
Two misfits fall in love on a school bus. Tender and honest.
Best for: first love in the 80s.
3. Looking for Alaska by John Green
A boy at boarding school falls for a charismatic girl. Funny and sad.
Best for: grief and friendship.
4. All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven
Two teens meet on a ledge and form a bond. Moving and heavy.
Best for: love and depression.
5. If I Stay by Gayle Forman
A girl in a coma decides whether to live. Short and moving.
Best for: choice after a crash.
6. Where She Went by Gayle Forman
Three years after the crash, Adam and Mia meet again. Bittersweet.
Best for: the sequel.
7. Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon
A girl who cannot leave her house falls for the boy next door. Sweet and surprising.
Best for: sheltered love.
8. The Sun Is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon
A girl and a boy fall in love on the day she faces deportation. Beautiful.
Best for: one day in New York.
9. Forever by Judy Blume
A teenager navigates first love and sex. Honest and classic.
Best for: first time.
10. A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks
A popular boy falls for a quiet girl. Gentle and sad.
Best for: sweet tragic romance.
11. Hold Still by Nina LaCour
A teenager copes with her best friend's death. Gentle and lyrical.
Best for: grief after suicide.
12. Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher
A teenager listens to tapes recorded by a friend who died. Controversial and widely read.
Best for: tapes and suicide.
13. Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
A freshman who was assaulted stops speaking. Clear and powerful.
Best for: silence after trauma.
14. Just One Day by Gayle Forman
A girl spends a day with a boy and then spends a year looking for him. Dreamy.
Best for: a day in Paris.
15. Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell
A shy writer starts university and slowly opens up. Warm and bookish.
Best for: college romance.
How We Chose These Books
Every pick is a real, widely available book that shares something specific with If He Had Been with Me: its tone, its themes, its pace or the kind of characters it puts at the center. We mixed well-known favorites with a few less obvious titles, and we noted who each book suits best so you can match it to the reader. Where a book belongs to a series, we list the first volume so you can start at the beginning.
How to Choose
For more of the same pain choose The Fault in Our Stars, If I Stay or All the Bright Places. For gentler first love read Eleanor & Park, Everything, Everything or Fangirl. For friendship and grief try Looking for Alaska and Hold Still. If He Had Been with Me is sad, so keep tissues nearby. Nowlin's novel has a devoted fan base among teen readers. It has a companion, If Only I Had Told Her, which retells the story from Finny's side. If you read this book in one sitting, give yourself time afterwards, as it is emotional. If you want a similar mood, The Fault in Our Stars and All the Bright Places are strong. If you want hope, Eleanor & Park and Fangirl are warmer.
Related: 15 Books Like It Ends with Us You’ll Love: Emotional Romance and Hard Choices · What Age Is It Ends with Us Appropriate For? A Parent’s Guide
Frequently Asked Questions
What is If He Had Been with Me about?
Two childhood friends fall in love too late, and a tragedy changes everything.
Who wrote it?
Laura Nowlin.
When was it published?
2010 in its first edition.
Is there a companion?
Yes, If Only I Had Told Her.
Is it sad?
Yes, it has a tragic ending.
What age is it for?
Teens, usually ages 14 and up.
Is it a good book club pick?
Yes, for teen readers.
What should I read next?
Try The Fault in Our Stars or If I Stay.
Is the ending hopeful?
It is sad but honest, with a note of acceptance.
Is it a good book for grief?
Some readers find it comforting, while others find it heavy.